i often cry while watching Biggest Loser but it’s usually because of the emotional struggles and successes the contestants are crying about.

today i’m sitting in my office with BL on in the background as i answer emails. and then i hear from Dr. H:

if you had lymphoma, would you set aside 2 hours a day for chemotherapy? you are just as sick.

and the lump immediately filled my throat.

my mom just celebrated another successful round of scans at md anderson. 4 years of remission from acute follicular lymphoma after months of chemo kicking her ass. and through the treatment, she was out of bed and present in our lives every day she could.

and while she was killing cancer, i was gaining pound after pound and killing myself. emotionally, physically and spiritually.

so when will i start taking this seriously?

the lump.