{ 31 days } good enough.

i made two decisions today:

  1. make March a month of YES. instead of coming up with excuses or even legitimate reasons to say NO to things – i’m just going to take a leap and say YES. 
  2. in honour of GOOD’s 30 Day Challenge, i commit to writing something every day for a month.
over the last two days, i’ve realized something very obvious: i’ve been settling. i’ve been allowing myself to live a life that’s just good enough, but not amazing. not fulfilling. not extraordinary. just barely sufficient.

i had two conversations with two people.

1. we talked for only an hour or so. it was brief with someone i barely know. but it felt genuine and i felt relaxed. we glazed over topics i’m actually interested in – passion, faith, the beauty of a breeze in a park, hipster dads in cowboy hats. it was nothing special, but i felt comfortable.. like i didn’t have to force conversation.

2. i made the “leap” to go out late even though i really wanted to go to bed early with a new book. this relationship has been a roller coaster over the last few months. it felt forced – like trying to shove a square person into my circle; trying very, very hard to make it work but we both always end the night disappointed.

it sounds awful to say out loud { or in print } but every now & then, i look around and think “i really need new friends.” i think at the end of the day, there’s a part of me whose needs are not being met. my needs for intellectual and spiritual connection, encouragement and motivation are not being met consistently. it comes in spurts – usually very suddenly and unexpectedly – but only lasts a few days, if that.

i want to leave a conversation feeling intoxicated and alive. i want community.

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